Ah...ironic pop

ROCK STAR SUPERNOVA LYRICS

"Be Yourself (And 5 Other Cliches)"

Be yourself
and not somebody else
it might take some, a little effort
and maybe just a little help
but you can figure it out
if not
just do what everbody else does....

Oh, keep it on the level (if that's what I'm supposed to do)
keep on the level (if that's what they told me to)
I keep on getting in trouble
if I try to take this side of the road

So here's your hey hey hey (hey!), here's you ho ho ho (ho!)
I don't know where else to go
There's a really fine line between what's yours and what's mine
it's a line that I don't want to toe...
I'm sick of being haunted by every cliche that I know

Keep it real
whatever that means
even if your so young you've never seen a limousine
your gonna one day
just remember
never get in
and don't give up
cuz you know people are gonna care
if you just stop trying
and accept every dare
and if you can't seem to make it
maybe, maybe you should just try failure

Oh, keep it on the level (if that's what I'm supposed to do)
Oh, keep on the level (if that's the thing they told me to)
I keep on getting in trouble
if I try to take this side of the road

So here's your hey hey hey (hey!), here's you ho ho ho (ho!)
I don't know where else to go
There's a really fine line between what's yours and what's mine
it's a line that I don't want to toe...you know
I'm sick of being haunted by every cliche that I know

Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh
...oh oh oh oh, oh aaaah!

Here's your hey hey hey (hey!), here's you ho ho ho (ho!)
I don't know where else to go
There's a really fine line between what's yours and what's mine
it's a line that I don't want to toe...you know

So here's your hey hey hey (hey!), here's you ho ho ho (ho!)
I don't know where else to go
There's a really fine line between what's yours and what's mine
it's a line that I don't want to toe...you know
I'm sick of being haunted by every cliche that I know
Oh oh...

Jane Siberry
It Can't Rain All the Time

[SPOKEN:]
We walked the narrow path,
beneath the smoking skies.
Sometimes you can barely tell the difference
between darkness and light.
Do you have faith in what we believe?
The truest test is when we cannot,
when we cannot see.

[SUNG:]
I hear pounding feet in the,
in the streets below, and the,
and the women crying and the,
and the children know that there,
that there's something wrong,
and it's hard to belive that love will prevail.

Oh it won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.

Oh, when I'm lonely,
I lie awake at night and I wish you were here.
I miss you.
Can you tell me
is there something more to belive in?
Or is this all there is?

In the pounding feet, in the,
In the streets below, and the,
And the window breaks and,
And a woman falls, there's,
There's something wrong, it's,
It's so hard to belive that love will prevail.

Oh it won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall
forever.

Last night I had a dream.
You came into my room,
you took me into your arms.
Whispering and kissing me,
and telling me to still belive.
But then the emptiness of a burning sea
against which we see
our darkest of sadness.

Until I felt safe and warm.
I fell asleep in your arms.
When I awoke I cried again for you were gone.
Oh, can you hear me?

It won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.
It won't rain all the time
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall,
your tears won't fall forever.

Pluralities, a poem by Eugenie A. Nida

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese;
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

Cows in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,
But I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
If the singular is this and the plural is these,
Should the plural of kiss be nicknamed kese?

Then one may be that and three may be those,
Yet the plural of hat will never be hose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But we say mother, we never say methren.

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim.
So our English, I think you all will agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

Four Yorkshiremen Sketch - Monty Python

Four well-dressed men sitting together at a vacation resort.

Michael Palin: Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable.

Graham Chapman: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier wine, ay Gessiah?

Terry Gilliam: You're right there Obediah.

Eric Idle: Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Chateau de Chassilier wine?

MP: Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

GC: A cup ' COLD tea.

EI: Without milk or sugar.

TG: OR tea!

MP: In a filthy, cracked cup.

EI: We never used to have a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

GC: The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

TG: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.

MP: Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness."

EI: 'E was right. I was happier then and I had NOTHIN'. We used to live in this tiiiny old house, with greaaaaat big holes in the roof.

GC: House? You were lucky to have a HOUSE! We used to live in one room, all hundred and twenty-six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing; we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of FALLING!

TG: You were lucky to have a ROOM! *We* used to have to live in a corridor!

MP: Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in a corridor! Woulda' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House!? Hmph.

EI: Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the ground covered by a piece of tarpolin, but it was a house to US.

GC: We were evicted from *our* hole in the ground; we had to go and live in a lake!

TG: You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small
shoebox in the middle of the road.

MP: Cardboard box?

TG: Aye.

MP: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!

GC: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY!

TG: Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

EI: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, (pause for laughter), eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah."

MP: But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.

ALL: Nope, nope..

Marshall v. Burger King

The Supreme Court of the State of Illinois last year ruled against Burger King for inadequate protection of its diners in this case. A patron went to her car in the carpark, managed to reverse into a streetlight, then get her foot stuck on the accelerator going forward, struck a kerb, became airborne.....ultimately, the car flew through the air, crashed through BK's wall and crushed a diner to death. You would think the family would sue the driver but why go after the perp. when the corporation has so much more money.... They successfully sued BK instead as the courts found the dining establishment to have neglected to provide adequate protection for its diners.
Guess they'll have to start hiring psychics to keep them informed of upcoming weird and freaky phenonmenon.

How to make your own office...

"Hell. Too Good For Some Evil Bastards".

Pizza joint censured for George W Bush

Friday, 23 February 2007

A complaint about a Hell Pizza billboard featuring a picture of United States President George W Bush has been partly upheld.
But the Advertising Standards Complaints Board did not find the picture or issues raised by the advertisement offensive, it was the term "evil bastards" that earned their censure.
Hell Pizza's advertising agency, Cinderella Ltd, mounted a spirited defence to the complaints board, even drawing on New Zealand author Barry Crump's book Bastards I Have Met.
The billboard that raised the ire of complainants featured a picture of Mr Bush, and the words "Hell. Too Good For Some Evil Bastards".
One complainant sighted the advertisement on a large billboard on State Highway 1 in Hamilton on November 3, 2006, and complained: "I object to the use of this language in such public sight where people might (a) take offence, and (b) have to explain the advert to children."
A second complainant said in part: "... Mr Bush is a GOD-fearing upright man who (I would say) will never be seen in Hell. It is a terrible and vicious smear campaign against a person who is openly a Christian."
Two other complainants expressed similar views.
The board chairman ruled that under the Code of Ethics, the following provisions were relevant:
Basic Principle 4: All advertisements should be prepared with a due sense of social responsibility to consumers and to society; and
Rule 5: Offensiveness – Advertisements should not contain anything which in light of generally prevailing community standards is likely to cause serious or widespread offence taking into account the contest, medium, audience and product (including services).
Cinderella told the board the billboard was erected to capitalise on the growing sense of outrage that was building around the invasion of Iraq and the role George Bush had played.
"We believe, and given the even greater opposition to the war in Iraq and George Bush's plummeting popularity among voters in the US, that the billboard was not only socially responsible, but incredibly prescient given events that have unfolded subsequently," the agency said.
It also noted that "much to our chagrin, the billboard company acted unilaterally (much like George Bush in fact) and removed the billboard as soon as it received complaints".
Regarding the "bastard" complaints, Cinderella said use of the term was widespread in New Zealand and could sometimes even be a compliment.
"We would point the board to the seminal work. . . Bastards I Have Met was a wide-ranging almost academic study of the different types of bastard that one could encounter throughout New Zealand.
"Of course George Bush had not yet come to prominence when Crump was writing, but had he been in office at the time, and if Barry had met him, I feel sure he would have qualified for his own chapter, headed 'Evil Bastard'.
"As it stands, George W could certainly fit within the genus of bastard identified as a `Bad bastard' (bastardus skullduggerus), or arguably for a subgroup of this particular type of bastard – the `real bad bastard' – although that is not for us to say," the agency said.
The board agreed unanimously that the phrase "evil bastards" was offensive when displayed in the community on a billboard, where it was visible to all members of the public, including children.
Accordingly it had not been prepared and displayed with a due sense of social responsibility and would be likely to cause serious offence.
However the other issues raised, though offensive to the complainants, did not meet the threshold to cause serious and widespread offence and the advertisement was not in breach of the Advertising Code in relation to those issues.