Children's Names

Someone was asking me the other night about children's names (i.e. favoured and detested) and I discovered that for once I was lacking in an immediate response. Extremely bored after a day of data entry & filing, and faced with a long traffic filled journey home, I spent some time pondering and ended up with the following list. The Russian names I've liked since 4th form (nd after all the kids can always Anglicize them) and after realizing how many of my close circle of friends happen to have names that I already liked I decided that it seemed unfair for Sri to be the only one excluded. So there you go Sri, if we stay mates for another 8 years I may name one of the little tykes after you.

Katja / Katya Anastacia
Daniel Connor
Jamie Sridat
Ben Mikhail/Michael
Leilani Aroha (now there's a love child hippie name if ever I saw one!)

Ah...ironic pop

ROCK STAR SUPERNOVA LYRICS

"Be Yourself (And 5 Other Cliches)"

Be yourself
and not somebody else
it might take some, a little effort
and maybe just a little help
but you can figure it out
if not
just do what everbody else does....

Oh, keep it on the level (if that's what I'm supposed to do)
keep on the level (if that's what they told me to)
I keep on getting in trouble
if I try to take this side of the road

So here's your hey hey hey (hey!), here's you ho ho ho (ho!)
I don't know where else to go
There's a really fine line between what's yours and what's mine
it's a line that I don't want to toe...
I'm sick of being haunted by every cliche that I know

Keep it real
whatever that means
even if your so young you've never seen a limousine
your gonna one day
just remember
never get in
and don't give up
cuz you know people are gonna care
if you just stop trying
and accept every dare
and if you can't seem to make it
maybe, maybe you should just try failure

Oh, keep it on the level (if that's what I'm supposed to do)
Oh, keep on the level (if that's the thing they told me to)
I keep on getting in trouble
if I try to take this side of the road

So here's your hey hey hey (hey!), here's you ho ho ho (ho!)
I don't know where else to go
There's a really fine line between what's yours and what's mine
it's a line that I don't want to toe...you know
I'm sick of being haunted by every cliche that I know

Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh
...oh oh oh oh, oh aaaah!

Here's your hey hey hey (hey!), here's you ho ho ho (ho!)
I don't know where else to go
There's a really fine line between what's yours and what's mine
it's a line that I don't want to toe...you know

So here's your hey hey hey (hey!), here's you ho ho ho (ho!)
I don't know where else to go
There's a really fine line between what's yours and what's mine
it's a line that I don't want to toe...you know
I'm sick of being haunted by every cliche that I know
Oh oh...

Jane Siberry
It Can't Rain All the Time

[SPOKEN:]
We walked the narrow path,
beneath the smoking skies.
Sometimes you can barely tell the difference
between darkness and light.
Do you have faith in what we believe?
The truest test is when we cannot,
when we cannot see.

[SUNG:]
I hear pounding feet in the,
in the streets below, and the,
and the women crying and the,
and the children know that there,
that there's something wrong,
and it's hard to belive that love will prevail.

Oh it won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.

Oh, when I'm lonely,
I lie awake at night and I wish you were here.
I miss you.
Can you tell me
is there something more to belive in?
Or is this all there is?

In the pounding feet, in the,
In the streets below, and the,
And the window breaks and,
And a woman falls, there's,
There's something wrong, it's,
It's so hard to belive that love will prevail.

Oh it won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall
forever.

Last night I had a dream.
You came into my room,
you took me into your arms.
Whispering and kissing me,
and telling me to still belive.
But then the emptiness of a burning sea
against which we see
our darkest of sadness.

Until I felt safe and warm.
I fell asleep in your arms.
When I awoke I cried again for you were gone.
Oh, can you hear me?

It won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.
It won't rain all the time
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall,
your tears won't fall forever.

Pluralities, a poem by Eugenie A. Nida

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese;
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

Cows in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,
But I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
If the singular is this and the plural is these,
Should the plural of kiss be nicknamed kese?

Then one may be that and three may be those,
Yet the plural of hat will never be hose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But we say mother, we never say methren.

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim.
So our English, I think you all will agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

Four Yorkshiremen Sketch - Monty Python

Four well-dressed men sitting together at a vacation resort.

Michael Palin: Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable.

Graham Chapman: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier wine, ay Gessiah?

Terry Gilliam: You're right there Obediah.

Eric Idle: Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Chateau de Chassilier wine?

MP: Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

GC: A cup ' COLD tea.

EI: Without milk or sugar.

TG: OR tea!

MP: In a filthy, cracked cup.

EI: We never used to have a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

GC: The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

TG: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.

MP: Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness."

EI: 'E was right. I was happier then and I had NOTHIN'. We used to live in this tiiiny old house, with greaaaaat big holes in the roof.

GC: House? You were lucky to have a HOUSE! We used to live in one room, all hundred and twenty-six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing; we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of FALLING!

TG: You were lucky to have a ROOM! *We* used to have to live in a corridor!

MP: Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in a corridor! Woulda' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House!? Hmph.

EI: Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the ground covered by a piece of tarpolin, but it was a house to US.

GC: We were evicted from *our* hole in the ground; we had to go and live in a lake!

TG: You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small
shoebox in the middle of the road.

MP: Cardboard box?

TG: Aye.

MP: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!

GC: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY!

TG: Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

EI: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, (pause for laughter), eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah."

MP: But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.

ALL: Nope, nope..

Marshall v. Burger King

The Supreme Court of the State of Illinois last year ruled against Burger King for inadequate protection of its diners in this case. A patron went to her car in the carpark, managed to reverse into a streetlight, then get her foot stuck on the accelerator going forward, struck a kerb, became airborne.....ultimately, the car flew through the air, crashed through BK's wall and crushed a diner to death. You would think the family would sue the driver but why go after the perp. when the corporation has so much more money.... They successfully sued BK instead as the courts found the dining establishment to have neglected to provide adequate protection for its diners.
Guess they'll have to start hiring psychics to keep them informed of upcoming weird and freaky phenonmenon.

How to make your own office...