Tuesday, January 24, 2006

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD ??

REV BRIAN TAMAKI: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other side' to be closer to the devil!

WINSTON PETERS: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking New Zealander.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?

JIM ANDERTON: I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the Leader of the Opposition in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the Kiwi public from the pre-election criminal wrongdoings he has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in Dr Brash's election campaign - the ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice, undermine the rule of law & fool the voting public. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity, provided he co-operates fully with our investigation and gives his Party Vote to the Progressive Party. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any Parliamentary follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Peter Dunn has leaked information to the Rev. Brian Tamaki, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least toruffle his feathers.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken, which will not only explore your documents, and balance your checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

WILLIE JACKSON: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the 'black man' in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,' Thou shalt cross the road.' And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS: You mean - I missed one?!?!?

4 Comments:

Blogger Pamziewamzie said...

Oh my gosh that's so cool - can I put it on my blog? Very witty

10:40 AM  
Blogger Nixie! said...

sure |:)

5:45 PM  
Blogger Pamziewamzie said...

Thanks hun - and you better be coming to Merita's with me on Saturday!

9:01 PM  
Blogger Nixie! said...

I'm moving house this weekend but I'll try and get there. Send me a text with the details :)

5:55 PM  

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